Are You Worshiping Wrong?
And why is it a problem if you are?
When the Johnson family extended Christmas arrived, Aunt Chrissy was shepherded to a chair in the center of the living room. The whole family clapped and cheered.
“What is going on!?” Chrissy said bashfully as her sister urged her to sit down. “You don’t need to do this!”
“Yes, we do,” her sister said. “You mean so much to the kids, and to all of us; we wanted to do something special for you.”
You see, Chrissy was the quintessential “fun aunt.” She loved her nieces and nephews so much that she went out of her way to make it to as many games/concerts as possible, took them on a big “all-expenses-paid auntie trip” each summer, and sent the most adorable birthday package each birthday. The packages were always filled with their favorite home-baked cookies, a $100 gift card to their favorite store, and a letter highlighting how proud she was of the person they were becoming.
Tears filled Chrissy’s eyes as she watched all of her nieces and nephews start to make their way towards her chair.
“I remember when you all could squeeze onto the couch with me!” Chrissy joked. The rest of the family laughed as each not-so-little kid made their way behind her chair.
“We got together yesterday and made you this,” the oldest niece, Sarah, said as she handed Chrissy a big present. Chrissy pulled the top off the beautifully wrapped box and saw that it was filled with Chrissy’s favorite cookies, gift cards, and handwritten notes from all of them.
“You guys…” Chrissy said with tears in her eyes as she peered into the big box. Her sister encouraged her to read the notes aloud.
Chrissy first pulled out Jack’s note. “It says… ‘Thanks for everything! - Jack.’”
The family chuckled, and Chrissy played it cool. It seemed a little short, but he had never been one for words, so she didn’t let it bother her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” She looked over to the teen who briefly looked up from his phone to give her a quick nod.
She reached for another one. “Ok… this one is from Ellie! It says…” she straightened out the note, “‘What would I like for Christmas this year?’”
Chrissy assumed it would be some sort of fun twist on the idea where Ellie somehow looped in well-wishes for the aunt who poured so much into Ellie since the day she was born. However, it really was just a wishlist for what Ellie, a 14-year-old, wanted for Christmas. It included, but was not limited to, a new phone, for her brother Jack to stop asking if she and Dylan were dating, and for her parents to let her go on a cruise with her friends for spring break.
Her dad chimed in from the crowd, “Not until you get that math grade up!” The rest of the family laughed while Chrissy forced out a laugh; trying hard to pretend that her ‘thank you notes’ didn’t suck. She kept going.
“Joey says… ‘Thanks for all you do for us! You really know how to make us feel special. No one puts in more work than you.’”
“Aw,” Chrissy said along with others. She kept reading. “‘You are always there for me. I love our conversations. I am so lucky that you are still alive - a lot of my friends can’t say the same.” She thought that was a little odd, but kept reading. “‘We all love you so much, Grandpa! Thanks for being so great!’”
“Grandpa?!” Chrissy said aloud, flabbergasted. She then quickly pretended she was joking as she fake-laughed along with the others. Her father was a lot of things, but an actively involved and loving grandpa wasn’t one of them. Heck, he barely said 10 shallow words to the kids at dinner before grumpily leaving to go watch the game!
Chrissy had a sinking feeling in her stomach that this was somehow a humiliating joke; that all her love and gifts and trips meant nothing to the kids. Or perhaps maybe her family really was so self-centered that they didn’t see anything wrong with the shallow notes she, who had given so much, was getting during a time supposedly dedicated to saying thank you to her.
Chrissy gulped to herself as she reached for another letter, desperately trying to pretend that everything was fine. She forced a smile as she said, “Ok, this one is from… Sarah… ‘Dear Aunt Chrissy, Where do I even begin? How could one accurately count how much love you have poured into me and the others over the years?’”
Chrissy’s eyes started to tear up. She read aloud three pages of Sarah’s favorite auntie-memories and gratitude over how much effort Chrissy had put into making each one of them feel loved. It ended with, “‘Merry Christmas, Aunt Chrissy. Thank YOU for being you.’”
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house, other than Grandpa who was in the other room watching the game. Tears streamed down Chrissy’s face as she stood up to hug her sweet niece. She whispered, “Thank you so much, Sarah.”
Have you ever felt like Chrissy before? Instead of a genuine “thank you” for something you put a lot of effort into, you got someone talking about themselves, or a half-hearted ‘thanks,’ or someone giving another person credit for the work you did. It hurts, right?
And yet we, who have all been hurt before by others taking us for granted before, often do the same thing to God by not giving Him the immense gratitude He deserves.
The list of our daily blessings is so long that we would never get anything else done if we had to recount every good thing we have in our lives (and every bad thing that we don't have to deal with) in a given day!
And yet… and yet most of us barely make time to give a quick, “Thanks for everything!” like Jack did earlier. Even worse than that, we are often guilty of skipping the ‘thank you’ altogether and treating God like a wishing well, where we only come to Him when we are asking for something (like Ellie).
Not only are these approaches to interacting with God disrespectful, they’re ultimately dishonest because they deny the reality, the truth, of just how generous God is to us and who God is to us (aka: not a genie in a bottle, not someone to be tossed aside, etc).
The truth is that He doesn’t have to give us anything! In a snap of His fingers, it could all go away. The truth is that when we aren’t grateful to the right person (in this case, God) we are giving that thanks to someone else; most oftentimes ourselves in the forms of entitlement or self-praise (which is beyond just a healthy self-esteem).
But just like how Joey gave Grandpa credit for all of Chrissy’s work, some people do give a higher power credit, but sometimes they give it to the wrong entity. This often looks like a generalized sense of gratitude to ‘the universe’ or some other vague thing; neither of which is the actual source of the blessings!
If we believe that God is the giver of all good things, then we must conclude that He deserves our gratitude for all He has done. Gratitude for the Christian is often done in the form of worship, but what exactly does ‘worship’ mean, and how can we implement it into our lives better?
Let’s start at the beginning. What is worship?
Worship is made up, generally, of two parts: adoration, where we proclaim someone’s wonderful attributes, and gratitude, where we give proper credit to the source of all of our blessings.
Next, why do we worship God?
We worship God because it is right to give Him the credit He is due. Plain and simple.
We worship God because it reminds us of WHO and HOW BIG our loving Father is, which as a result makes us realize our problems that we surrender are in good hands. This often leads to less worry in our lives… and lower anxiety sounds pretty good, right?!
We also worship God because we are commanded to. Now, some people bristle when they think about God commanding people to worship Him, but let’s remember God’s character: He wants you to live in the fullness and the joy of the truth, and the truth is that He is worthy of our praise! To tell us not to give thanks to the actual source of our blessings would be to encourage us to live a lie. A dangerous lie that leads humans, who God created with a deep inclination to worship, to start worshiping something, or someone, else.
Not only that, but when our innate desire to worship is directed properly (to God), it is really good for us! Not only does true worship usher us into His renewing presence and deepen our relationship with God, but worship is a powerful tool He gives us to change our lives. A loving Father would want you to live a more Spirit-filled, aligned with truth, anxiety-reduced, joyful, chain-breaking life! That’s why we worship!
So, what does worship actually look like?
Technically, everything we do can serve as worship to God: our actions, our thoughts, our work ethic - the list goes on. If we are living “in truth,” then in theory both our actions and words would communicate, “God is my King.” However, we will have to save that doctrine for another time.
Today, I want to zero in on how we worship with our words (whether spoken, written, or sung) and make sure we are worshipping correctly.
Unfortunately, until 2022 I wasn’t doing worship the right way. To give myself some credit, I didn’t know any better and I fear that many Christians today are falling “into the same old dull routine” (lyrics from Escape, the Pina Colada song - ha!) and worshiping wrong. And I want, nay, WE NEED, to fix that.
Now you, a kind person I am sure, might read that and say, “Sweetie! There’s no wrong way to worship! Don’t be so hard on yourself! God knows your heart-”
“Exactly,” I would cut in. “God cares a lot about our hearts and if our heart posture isn’t correct, then we are emphatically worshipping wrong.”
And that’s where I was pre-2022. That’s where a lot of well-intending Christians still are today.
I would go as far as to say that if we are worshipping wrong (which I will describe more in a second), then we aren’t technically worshiping God at all. However, since ‘singing in church’ is synonymous with ‘worship’ culturally, I will keep that terminology for the blog.
Here’s the big takeaway: There are countless ways to worship correctly, but there’s only one requirement for “wrong worship” and it is that you are not earnestly directing your words (and mental focus) at God when you’re saying them.
Real worship is focusing exclusively on God and talking / writing / singing to Him as if He was right in front of you. And let’s not forget… He is right in front of us since He is everywhere!
Not only should we envision God himself being in front of us, but we should be exclusively focused on Him while we let all the other distractions fade away. Examples include, but are not limited to: noticing the baby crying in the back, thinking about our future to-do list, wondering if our voice is too loud or if it sounds good enough, or worrying about if the people we brought to church with us are having a good time.
Remember: any distraction is a detraction.
If we are truly worshipping, we will let those distractions slip into the unimportant category where they truly belong because we know real worship is focused, directed, intentional, and genuine. Let’s stop sending the message to God that those distractions are more important than Him receiving the worship we supposedly are giving to Him.
Maybe you are reading this and realizing that you have never worshipped ‘correctly’ before. That’s ok, I was there, too.
When I used to sing in church (prior to 2022), I didn’t understand exactly why we did it other than it was tradition (cue Fiddler on the Roof: “TRADITION!”). And don’t get me wrong - there is beauty and connection in the communal singing of a beautiful song. “Amazing Grace” has been an iconic, deeply meaningful church experience for millions of people since the 1770s, but singing Amazing Grace in and of itself doesn’t necessarily mean we are worshipping God.
In church, the lyrics that resonated with me would make me think about God, but it never really felt like I was exclusively focused on or singing directly to God. On the odd occasion where I was able to focus on God, I was still reserved; still aware of other people around me and still making sure I was on ‘the same level’ as everyone else.
All in all, worship was nice. It was nice music with a nice lyrical message that was led by nice people on the stage and sung by nice people in the audience. But, like so many other things before my ‘re-ignited phase,’ I now realize that because my heart and mind weren’t focused, I wasn’t actually worshipping God.
Remember, worship isn’t karaoke.
If you want to do a gut check next time you are singing in church, that might be a good place to start. Remind yourself that actual worship, worship ‘done correctly,’ is a deep expression of adoration and gratitude directed very intentionally at Yahweh, our wonderful God who is worthy of us putting aside our worries about what other people think as we sing our praises to Him.
However, you might not be able to “get” into that mindset at your church. Perhaps you are quite introverted or that just isn’t the vibe of your congregation or you are easily distracted by that baby crying in back.
Here’s the GREAT news - you can, and should, carve out time to worship… by yourself! Yes, worship is supposed to be a constant thing, not a “once a week for 10-15 minutes depending on how adventurous the worship leader is that week” thing. And when you are in a place where you can truly let your reservations go, I promise that you’re going to feel the difference.
Driving alone in a car is my go-to worship music time, but feel free to find a quiet, private space that works for you. We are so fortunate to live during a time when we have thousands of great worship songs at our fingertips at any given moment. So, shut the door, grab your journal and Bible, open Spotify, and let’s go!
Now, as a musician, I want to share some tips with you to help you connect better to whatever songs that you put on your worship list.
These tips have really helped me direct my worship properly - and yes - some of these only can happen in private worship. But that’s ok because hopefully you will start implementing solo-worship more!
1. Use words you understand.
The words we speak matter, so really look at the lyrics of the song you’re about to sing. Remember that you are using those words to speak directly to GOD, so make sure you know what you’re saying. If the words don’t talk like you talk… next!
Here’s an example: It is Well” by Bethel (not the original hymn) was a massive hit when I was in college and it really is a beautiful song. I distinctly remember being distracted by the opening words, which are: “Grander earth has quaked before, moved by the sound of His voice. And the seas that are shaken and stirred, can be calmed and broken for my regard.”
I don’t know about you, and I am not trying to be mean to the songwriter, but no one has spoken like that since 1682. Now if I was at my college’s chapel for a listening concert, then that’d be fine! But if I am trying to speak directly to God and get into a deep state of worship, I need to be using words that I actually use and understand.
2. Use words how you use them.
Here’s another one: Maybe you have a deep internal knowing of what it means to ‘bless’ God, like how the lyrics in 10,000 Reasons kick off: “Bless the Lord oh my soul…”
However, in my neanderthal vernacular, that’s not how I personally use the words ‘bless.’
So, do I throw the baby out with the bathwater? No! I just make a few changes so it means something to me. Feel free to do the same. As long as it’s Biblical, go for it!
Personally, I sing, “Praise the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul…”
Any Christian songwriter worth their salt would want you to change a lyric if it helps you worship God better, so go crazy!
3. Consider dropping the communal language.
Depending on my distractibility and mood, I sometimes need to use this trick to focus better. I sometimes change communal language (see below) to personal language to get my mind into the space of “I, Miki, am talking directly to God, Yahweh.”
Community is great and singing about God’s Church as a whole is wonderful, but when I really need help focusing on the mission at hand of sincere worship, this has been a very helpful trick.
Example: In Great Are You Lord, I sometimes change it to, “It’s your breath in our MY lungs, so we I pour out our MY praise, we I pour out our MY praise.”
We > I
Us > me
Our > my
4. Go from third to first person.
If our goal is direct communication with God, I have found changing “God to You” has been helpful for me being able to focus better.
Here’s how I sing Firm Foundation:
“Christ is YOU ARE my firm foundation, the rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken, I’ve never been more glad that I put my faith in [YOU] Jesus. ‘Cuz he’s YOU’VE never let me down. He’s YOU’RE faithful through generations, so why would He YOU fail now? He YOU won’t.”
5. Think in specifics!
This is huge. Whatever you are singing about, apply that to your life and bring that specific thing into your mind when you sing the lyrics!
When David wrote his psalms, he was thinking about specific trials he was having. Songwriters intentionally keep worship songs relatively vague so whoever is singing it can apply it to their own lives. However, they don’t want it to stay that way! What blessing are you actually grateful for? What trial, specifically, is on your heart?
Here’s some ideas for when you listen to Battle Belongs by Phil Wickham: “When all I see is the battle [examples: scary diagnosis, money troubles, relationship strife, anxiety over buying a house, shoulder pain, etc.] you see the victory [peace, resolution, health, restoration, etc.]….”
Or when you sing Good, Good Father, think of your specific blessings and characteristics of God:
“You’re a good, good Father, that’s who you are [you are loving, providing], that’s who you are [you blessed me with my job], that’s who you are [thank you for my ability to walk pain free now] and I’m loved by you [you, the majestic creator of the universe, love ME!].”
6. Link it back to the Bible
So many songwriters include scripture or references to Bible stories in their songs. When you hear of something you recognize, let your mind think back to the story or reference because it’ll give you a deeper understanding and appreciation of what you are singing about.
Here’s an example from one of my favorite songs of all time, RATTLE!:
“Friday’s disappointment was Sunday’s empty tomb, since when has impossible ever stopped you? [Jesus’ resurrection story]
This is the sound of dry bones rattlin’… [Ezekiel 37 encouraging vision of hope]”
Sure, at face value, the words are good and true - but when you attach the fullness of the stories to those words? WOW! What a great reminder of God’s power, beauty, and faithfulness!
Shameless plug - don’t forget to read the Bible more and in full! (See my blog post on that here).
I hope these tips help you worship God more deeply, with more sincerity, and more often! Sincere worship is powerful. The more I do it correctly (intentionally, directly talking to God, undistracted), the more I find myself wanting to do it again and again and again.
If you don’t like worship music that much, I really encourage you to get in your car by yourself, go for a drive, crank up a song (maybe one from the examples above) and just give it a try. God wants to spend time with you and hear your voice because He created it, in part, for the purpose of genuine worship. However, remember you can always write out or verbalize your praises. As long as you are focused on who you are talking to, that is you worshipping with your words. The key is to do something because it is so painfully easy to put real worship on the back burner.
In a world full of Jacks and Ellies and Joeys from the story above, let’s be a Sarah. Remember, God is so, so good to us; He deserves our real worship, and He is generous enough to allow that real worship to greatly benefit us as well. Two birds, one… correct heart posture! ;)
Chapter: Psalm 100
My favorite song this year. Feel free to apply the 6 tips from above to this song! Omemma (which means, “The One Who Does Good”)
Sermon:
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