Thoughts Before Baby #2
I write this from my phone as I sit in my bathtub.
I feel like a toad sitting on a log with my big ol’ belly just waiting and waiting for the fly (or in this case, labor to start). Really cute visual, huh??
I’m about 39 weeks, which means I’m at that super fun stage baby boy could come in an hour or in 3 weeks from now when his official eviction notice of 42 weeks get delivered to him… your guess is as good as mine!
But while I’m here in the “wait;” while I sit on the edge of an impending event that will permanently change my life; I wanted to share some thoughts that have been bouncing around my head that I pray encourage you as we go into this Thanksgiving season.
First, what is the difference between “Grace” and “Mercy”?
Those two are often mentioned right next to each other in worship music. Off the top of my mom-brain head, here are some of my favorites (and I apologize if I get the lyrics / titles slightly wrong, I’m too tired to look up the official anything lol!):
“His mercy’s enough, His grace is sufficient…” - God Really Loves Us
“Who could imagine how great a mercy? What heart could fathom such boundless grace?” - Living Hope
“Because the God of the mountain is the God of the valley. And there’s not a place your mercy and grace won’t find me again…” -Graves into Gardens
Clearly these words are common themes, but I’ve been convicted lately at how little we spend time soaking in the depth, the magnitude, the importance of both of these.
So here’s how I’ve been remembering them:
“Grace = Gift”
“Mercy = Minus”
Every day we are surrounded by countless, truly countless, amounts of blessings that we did not create, we did not earn, and we do not sustain with our own power.
And yet how quickly does our to-do list take over when we jump into the craziness of life? If we really believed the blessings in our life were a gift, and not by our own doing, I think we would pause in wonder; I think we would stand in awe and say, “Wow! God you have been so good, so gracious to me. All of this is a gift from you; thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Mercy is not getting the punishment we deserve. This only has meaning if we believe sin is wrong and that it deserves justice brought against us.
Our appreciation for His amazing mercy is in direct correlation with how bad we think sin is. I fear the Church today has relied so much on the cross that we forget why we need it in the first place; diminishing the unbelievable work that took place there on our behalf.
Sin is a cancer; it does not stop, it is never satisfied. It is offensive to God and separates us from Him and, as a natural result of that, hurts the world around us.
It deserves a counter action; a punishment to make things right. And when we have been wronged we so easily agree with that fact: “Of course that person deserves a punishment! Look how much they hurt me, caused me trauma, etc.”
Justice helps keep us grounded on what is right: if murder is wrong, which of course it is, but nothing happened to the convicted murderer, clearly the judge doesn’t actually think murder is wrong and it will keep continuing.
Our sin sometimes has an earthly consequence, but sometimes we come away unscathed. I can remember distinctly how relieved I felt when I passed a cop while (knowingly) going 15 over the limit. He pulled out, my stomach sank, but he ended up going for the car in front of me. Can you relate to that feeling of getting let off the hook?
That said, our sin ALWAYS has a spiritual consequence that results in separation from God. It must be paid, justice must be served.
And yet Jesus takes the hand of the truly repentant heart, stands in front of the High King of Heaven, the Righteous Judge, and says, “Wait! I’ll take the punishment so they don’t have to be separated from their creator; their Heavenly Father.”
The spotless lamb; the final sacrifice. How great a MERCY indeed.
I find myself sometimes confusing the two though: I’ll say, “By God’s grace I didn’t get pulled over…”
Which… is fine… I suppose you could look at it as a gift… but in reality I deserved to get pulled over, so it was by God’s mercy I didn’t get my punishment.
I know this thanksgiving season I personally will be on the lookout for God’s gifts and the punishments He has taken away in both the earthly and spiritual realms because I don’t deserve either camp. He is so good, isn’t He?!
Lastly, before I go (this tub is getting cold), I want to highlight a phrase that’s been coming to mind as I wrap up the first five books of the Bible (the Torah; The Pentateuch): God is always giving us an exit ramp back to Him.
It is so evident that He wants His creation to come back to Him; but He isn’t going to deny reality, which would be lying, to do that.
He is not going to pretend that the natural order of the world He created doesn’t exist: sin is bad.
He is not going to pretend that you / me and Him are on equal standing: He is the King, we are not.
He’s not going to pretend that our disobedience is ok when we say things like, “Well, I just don’t agree with that part of the Bible…”: This is not a democracy.
God is so wonderful, so merciful, so gracious… but He is not a liar. He is not some sad kitten willing to give up His integrity, willing to do anything, just so He can hang out with us.
How self focused and delusional of a thought that is; to make GOD meet us on our terms?! Please.
And yet despite our disobedience, despite how many times we’ve broken His heart, He puts an exit ramp out for us to take.
We drive a little further down the highway and He whispers, “Take the exit” and it appears again.
A lesser god would say, “Sorry kid, that was the last straw” and seal the ramp off forever.
A lesser god would make us jump through unbearable hoops and make us dance like monkeys to get him just to CONSIDER opening the ramp back up.
But not our God; not Yahweh. He has a continual exit ramp available for you, for me, for every human - all of whom He desires to humbly come back home to Him; the only requirement being there needs to be repentant heart in the driver’s seat turning the wheel to the right.
Ok, the water is officially lukewarm and what an amazing reminder of what we are called NOT to be.
As this mama frog sits on a log waiting for her fly, I will be praying that every person reading this knows how truly loved they are by God- so much so that He offers us endless grace, unfathomable mercy, and a perpetual exit back to Him.
If you feel led please keep me, my family, and my (hopefully coming soon!) baby boy in your prayers. I’m so grateful for your time and hope these “pre baby thoughts” encouraged you to get closer to God this holiday season ❤️
Signing off for a bit,
Miki
PS- sorry for all the grammar and spelling errors, I’m sure there are many 😂